


Faith and Fault

by runfive



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Canon Divergence, Female Runner Five, Hurt/Comfort, I just have a lot of emotions about sara smith okay, Moonchild arc, Season 3 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 07:59:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16384274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runfive/pseuds/runfive
Summary: Sara knows what she’s about to do to Five isn’t the kindest, but Sara’s never been the type to do what’s kind. She does whatever needs to be done.





	Faith and Fault

**Author's Note:**

> Based on an idea the lovely mysterycyclone had for a sparring match between Five and Sara post Moonchild as a way to help Five cope. 
> 
> Spoilers up to S3M48.

Sara corners Five in the training area one night.

She’s sitting on a bench near the track, staring straight ahead, her eyes a bit out of focus like she can’t quite care enough to look at anything, and Sara recognizes the expression enough to know that Five’s been sitting there for quite some time.

She’s been like this for the past few weeks, since she came back from Moonchild. Sometimes they find her in the garden, sometimes in the library (never near the armoury). Sometimes she’s confused when they find her, like she can’t quite remember how she got there or why she’s been sitting there so long. Sometimes she just seems tired, like she was walking somewhere and couldn’t find the energy to keep going. But there’s never anything else, not anger, or fear, or sadness. It’s like she’s just...shut off, catatonic even.

 

“It’s post traumatic stress,” Maxine whispers to Sara one night over dinner, “She’s been through a lot, she’ll come around, we just need to give her time.”

Sara didn’t have the heart to tell her that time wasn’t what Five needed.

 

“Come with me, Five.”

Sara knows she should be alarmed at the instantaneous way Five obeys her and stands up to follow, the dull look in her eyes as she trails behind Sara, every movement dragging, like Five’s whole spirit is exhausted. But she knows her Five. She knows what it’s like to be dead inside. And she knows that however dead Five may feel right now, however much Five wants to be dead right now (and admittedly that thought does shake her a bit), that Five is not like her.

Sara leads Five through the training area and shepards her to one of the shacks that serves as their indoor gym.

Once inside, Five looks around like she suddenly realizes where she is. Her eyes still have the same dead look in them, but her eyebrows press together in the slightest hint of confusion.

Sara stops by the door and looks at her, a small pang of guilt hitting her own chest. She knows what she’s about to do to Five isn’t the kindest, but Sara’s never been the type to do what’s kind. She does whatever needs to be done.

“You’ve been moping for long enough, Five.”

Five blinks and looks up at Sara, taken aback.

Sara sighs, “It’s time to come back Five,” she says, her voice a shade softer. She reaches a hand out and slowly places it on Five’s shoulder, wary of the fact that Five’s been avoiding most physical contact since she got back. Five doesn’t move to shake her hand off though, and Sara takes that as a good sign.

She reaches to the equipment lining the side of the room and picks up a pair of sparring gloves.  
“Here,” she says, throwing them at Five’s chest. Five catches them and looks up at Sara, still confused.

“Go stand in the sparring ring,” Sara orders, looking carefully at Five for her reaction.

Five blinks, her eyebrows creasing. “I’m not...going to fight you Sara,” she says, her voice tired.

“Go stand in the sparring ring,” Sara repeats.

Five sighs, “I’m leaving, Sara,” and tries to move past her to the door.

Sara gently, but firmly, puts a hand out against Five’s shoulder, preventing her from walking any further.

“You’re not going to leave until we’re through here, Five.”

Five looks down at the hand on her shoulder and then up at Sara, disbelief dawning on her face.

“Let me out.”

“No.”

“Let me out,” Five repeats, angry for the first time.

“No.”

“I don’t want to fight you,” she snaps. Sara knows what she’s doing to Five, trapping her in a small room, forcing her to do something against her will. She can’t pretend that she’s not hurting Five, but Five’s small show of anger is already a step up from the lifeless, dull tone that she’s been using, which means that it’s working. So she continues to push.

“If you want to leave you’re going to have to get through me, and we’re going to end up fighting anyway. I don’t want to hurt you, Five, and would much prefer that we do this in the ring with proper equipment, wouldn’t you?”

Five stands there for a minute breathing hard, eyes darting around the room as if calculating her options. Finally she snaches up the gloves and turns around to walk to the makeshift sparring ring in the center of the room.

“This is so stupid,” Five mutters as she puts the gloves on and Sara almost smiles.

They start off easily, throwing a few light punches.

Sara can tell Five’s still angry, but not enough to actually want to hurt Sara, and her strikes are weak and half hearted.

Then suddenly, “So, what did it feel like to kill all those people, Five?” Her voice is light and casual, but her words do what they’re meant to.

Five falters, and Sara takes the opportunity to throw a punch to her jaw, not enough to cause damage, but hard enough to hurt.

Five stumbles back and touches her hand to her face where Sara hit her. She looks at the ground, momentarily stunned and then snaps her head up to meet Sara’s gaze. The dead look is gone from her eyes, hurt and betrayal in their place.

Sara’s firmness doesn’t waver, “You angry Five? Hit me back.”

Five doesn’t so Sara throws another punch, this time to her right shoulder, the one that was injured in the plane crash with Amelia, that never quite healed right. This time Sara hits it enough to hurt, a lot.

Five takes a few more steps back and though her expression is as stoic as ever, she’s clearly shaken and Sara can tell she’s somewhere between throwing a punch back and crying-just where Sara wants her.

“I said I didn’t want to fight you,” Five repeats, but her voice shakes ever so slightly this time.

Sara advances on Five, closing the distance between them. “You wanted it Five, didn’t you? The mind control felt good, didn’t it?”

Five stands there frozen, not looking at Sara, breathing hard.

Sara hits her again.

“Killing all those people felt good, didn’t it?” she says, her voice harsh.

This time, Five swings at Sara, who throws up her hand to block the blow, and Five immediately brings her arm down to her side, a scared look in her eyes.

“Why, Five? Are you afraid to let the monster out again? Afraid that that’s really who you are inside? Afraid you’re going to hurt me like you hurt Sam?” There it is. At Sam’s name Five, lunges at Sara and starts throwing punches, at Sara’s head, at her waist, at her shoulder. Sara can tell she’s still holding back though. Come on Five, she thinks, you’re almost there.

“Enough,” Sara says calmly despite the number of blows that Five is throwing at her. She knocks Five to the ground suddenly, and Five not expecting it, hits the floor hard, stunned, taking in a strangled breath as the wind is knocked out of her.

Five is fast but Sara’s faster. She throws one leg on either side of Five and pins her arms to the ground.

“ _Let me go,_ ” Five gasps, suddenly panicked.

“No,” Sara says again, her voice calm.

Suddenly Five breaks and starts crying, gasping sobs wracking her frame like they’re being wrenched out of her body.

“Did you like being mind controlled Five? Do you miss Moonchild?”

“Yes,” Five whispers, wrecked and choking back sobs.

“Is that your fault?”

Five freezes for a second, like the question physically hits her in the chest.

Then-“No!” With a fire that Sara hasn’t seen for weeks, Five wrenches her arms out of Sara’s grasp and kicks her legs until Sara is forced off of her. Sara pushes herself to her feet and Five follows lunging at Sara once she’s up and pounding at her, each punch stronger than the last, enough to really hurt Sara. Sara lets her.

“I didn’t deserve what Moonchild did to me, I didn’t want to kill those people! I didn’t want to hurt Abel and I didn’t want to hurt Sam!” she sobs, her voice wrecked but stronger than Sara had heard in weeks.

“It’s-not-my-fault!” She punctuates each word with a blow against Sara.

Five stops suddenly, and stands there wide eyed, her breathing ragged. “It wasn’t....my fault” she says, her voice barely audible. She looks younger and smaller than Sara knew she was capable of, but for the first time since she returned from Moonchild’s captivity, Five looks alive.

Five sinks to the ground, crying freely for the first time since Moonchild hijacked her brain. Sara crouches down beside her and holds her gently, “I’m sorry, Five,” she says, quietly. Five continues to sob but reaches up and grabs the arms that are holding her like they’re a lifeline. “You’re okay now,” Sara says gently, and tightens her grip on Five ever so slightly. She’ll have a lot of bruises for the next few weeks but she’s never been prouder of Five.


End file.
